a candle in the darkness

...continued from my other facebook notes...


"The night is always darkest before the dawn."

A phrase I keep remember time and time again as this thing with my ankle surgery swells to my brain and the things with football and school and Emily and so many other things comes to my thinking process. I try to remember that one day this will all be worth it, that one day I will be bowed before the King of Kings with my arms outstretched and tears rolling down my face for I know I am home and I am His, as it says in Romans 8 when it talks about future glory.

Right now my mindset is right in the Lord. I believe He has set me on fire for Him by allowing me to engage in His word and His love. I have tasted and felt His goodness and in that I am crazy for Him. Right now all I feel like is worshipping the Lord, giving my all for just one moment of His grace. I feel as though I am rejuvinated and ready to charge hell with a water pistol.

But what has been made so clear to me by the past year of my life is that me being human, my passion will being to fade. I know it, things will come up and things will happen that will injure and hurt me. I know that unseen obsticles will turn up, but the thing that is different about this fire than other fires, is that His word is more life to me than my very own breath right now. His words in all of scripture mean more to me than the very air I breathe right now.

The scripture is all God breathed and every word has the power and potential to change the world. At the end of John it talks about how if all the things Jesus did were written, not even all the books in the world could contain it. And that sets a fire in my soul more precious to me than gold. More real to me than this pain in my ankle or my flesh.

And even though the passion will begin to thin I believe as long as I keep reading God's word, I can't help but by set a blaze and worship all the day long and be out in my school and in the world giving my praise to the only one who deserves praise, Jesus Christ.

And tonight as I worshipped the only place that seemed fitting for me was on my knees before the Lord. So i slumped to my knees and put my head to the floor and imagined my King Jesus on the throne in bright and glorious robes right before me. I saw Him with gleaming greatness around Him and angels singing His praise... for He is the only one who deserves any praise at all. I thought the only place I can be is on my knees because He is so great and glorious and I am so dirty and late that is only right that I kneels before my King in sheer reverence for His love and might.

So the next three weeks before my surgery are going to be really vital. They are going to make or break who I am. They will show if the word of Jesus Christ is my life or not. Pray for me and pray that Jesus Christ continues to speak into my life and makes me fall more and more in love with Him.


....this song is a song about a candle in the darkness.

A candle in the darkness shines brighter than the sun
And my eyes are attracted to the glow of your sword

My king my king allow your holy fire to burn in me
To consume my every thought
To envade my dreams and my ambitions
And take over my insides out

A sword is not spelled without word
For your word is my lamp
And your word is my sword
Here in this battle of the ages

Here in this place all hope faids away
Beacuse your word we seem to forget
But Jesus bring us back to the place of your love
To a place where glory never ends

As soon as my heart hardens
Is when I forget your word exists
Father never let that happen
For I am cannot do this one my own

Your word is a lamp in the darkness
And I pray I can never stray from your gaze
Jesus take me as your servant
And command me where to go

Your light is my guide
And I pray you lead where you will
Father I will follow you
No matter where the road ends

For one day I will kneel before you
And thats when my hands and my feet will finally rest
Because here I know you have me ever moving
For you move through me and you are always working


Once and for all etenity. Amen.