...continued from my other facebook notes...
"The night is always darkest before the dawn."
A phrase I keep remember time and time again as this thing with my ankle surgery swells to my brain and the things with football and school and Emily and so many other things comes to my thinking process. I try to remember that one day this will all be worth it, that one day I will be bowed before the King of Kings with my arms outstretched and tears rolling down my face for I know I am home and I am His, as it says in Romans 8 when it talks about future glory.
Right now my mindset is right in the Lord. I believe He has set me on fire for Him by allowing me to engage in His word and His love. I have tasted and felt His goodness and in that I am crazy for Him. Right now all I feel like is worshipping the Lord, giving my all for just one moment of His grace. I feel as though I am rejuvinated and ready to charge hell with a water pistol.
But what has been made so clear to me by the past year of my life is that me being human, my passion will being to fade. I know it, things will come up and things will happen that will injure and hurt me. I know that unseen obsticles will turn up, but the thing that is different about this fire than other fires, is that His word is more life to me than my very own breath right now. His words in all of scripture mean more to me than the very air I breathe right now.
The scripture is all God breathed and every word has the power and potential to change the world. At the end of John it talks about how if all the things Jesus did were written, not even all the books in the world could contain it. And that sets a fire in my soul more precious to me than gold. More real to me than this pain in my ankle or my flesh.
And even though the passion will begin to thin I believe as long as I keep reading God's word, I can't help but by set a blaze and worship all the day long and be out in my school and in the world giving my praise to the only one who deserves praise, Jesus Christ.
And tonight as I worshipped the only place that seemed fitting for me was on my knees before the Lord. So i slumped to my knees and put my head to the floor and imagined my King Jesus on the throne in bright and glorious robes right before me. I saw Him with gleaming greatness around Him and angels singing His praise... for He is the only one who deserves any praise at all. I thought the only place I can be is on my knees because He is so great and glorious and I am so dirty and late that is only right that I kneels before my King in sheer reverence for His love and might.
So the next three weeks before my surgery are going to be really vital. They are going to make or break who I am. They will show if the word of Jesus Christ is my life or not. Pray for me and pray that Jesus Christ continues to speak into my life and makes me fall more and more in love with Him.
....this song is a song about a candle in the darkness.
A candle in the darkness shines brighter than the sun
And my eyes are attracted to the glow of your sword
My king my king allow your holy fire to burn in me
To consume my every thought
To envade my dreams and my ambitions
And take over my insides out
A sword is not spelled without word
For your word is my lamp
And your word is my sword
Here in this battle of the ages
Here in this place all hope faids away
Beacuse your word we seem to forget
But Jesus bring us back to the place of your love
To a place where glory never ends
As soon as my heart hardens
Is when I forget your word exists
Father never let that happen
For I am cannot do this one my own
Your word is a lamp in the darkness
And I pray I can never stray from your gaze
Jesus take me as your servant
And command me where to go
Your light is my guide
And I pray you lead where you will
Father I will follow you
No matter where the road ends
For one day I will kneel before you
And thats when my hands and my feet will finally rest
Because here I know you have me ever moving
For you move through me and you are always working
Once and for all etenity. Amen.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Friday, August 1, 2008
Redemption
Redemption is a word that has been spit at me for years, ever since I could talk I remember the word redemption being put in my vocabulary. I never knew what it meant, just that it was a strong word pretaining to Jesus and Christianity.
So in the last year I have been redone, I have been changed completely (read all my notes for more details), and I have been redeemed. It's been a journey in which I see light and dark, death and life. A story where there is heartache and good times, nightmares and paradise. A path that has a side of the road with a picture of me on my knees with blood on my head and a side with a picture of me with a hammer in my bloody hands.
But tonight is a night to remember for as long as I breathe. I sat down at 1030 tonight and put "The Shawshank Redemption" in the DVD player. For the next 2 hours and 15 minutes I sat in wonder as a masterpiece was played in front of my eyes. A story that showed a journey of an innocent man who was convicted to 2 life sentences in prison. A journey which would lead him to find who he was. Theres a quote in the movie which is playing over and over in my mind...
"I guess it comes down to a simple choice really... to get busy living, or get busy dying."
This is where I was a year ago. I had a choice to embrace what Jesus Christ was showing me, showing me that life was in Him and only Him, or I could fold and get into a life of lust and hatred. A life of satisfying my flesh or fufilling the price for love that Jesus Christ gladly paid.
The word redemption means, "the act of buying back what someone previously sold." What that shows me that when Adam and Eve sinned, there became a gap between us and God. A gap that only the death of Jesus Christ on the cross could fill. A gap which IS IMPOSSIBLE for us to reach God and Heaven without embracing the love and will of Jesus Christ.
So when they sinned, the beautiful gift of life with God was shattered. And only by Jesus Christ dying and his blood being shed over us are we saved. Without that we are going straight to hell. Straight to burn for eternity. Our lives with Christ were sold because of sin and get this...
WHEN CHRIST DIED. HE BOUGHT BACK OUR LIVES... WITH HIS BLOOD!
Jesus Christ gave us the gift of redemption. The gift of Him giving us a chance to erase our past lives NO MATTER WHAT WE HAVE DONE... and living in paradise with Him forever. No matter if you were into porn (as I was), cheating, lying, stealing, KILLING, sex. It DOESN'T MATTER! God sent HIS ONE AND ONLY SON to come and die so we could live.
And I believe with a strong passion that anyone who sees the profound truth of Christ's gift of redemption CANNOT deny Jesus Christ. If that message is delivered with confidence and passion, no can pass it up.
Redemption is a word that I believe could shock a generation.
I believe that Jesus Christ put a passion in my heart to share the gospel and show people the life He promises them. Jesus Christ, The KING of the World, put a firery passion in my heart that this generation would grasp the idea of REDEMPTION and LOVE and change the course of this world forever.
That there would be group of teenager who would defy the odds of every adult who ever lived AND PROVE THAT THE LOVE OF JESUS CHRIST IS BETTER THAN ANYTHINGTHE WORLD HAS TO OFFER.
Any physical satisfaction that Satan can dish can never satisify a person's God-shaped whole in our lives. A person with everything... money, fame, lust... dies alone. Look at all the celeberties that have ended their life because they were so unhappy.
I pray that one of these days a person is seen who is so dedicated and in love with Jesus Christ that He or She will die without a moment hesitation. That my generation is not the sex-crazed, perverted horrible kids that everything things we will be. I pray that our generation is full of Bill Brights, Billy Grahams, and Josh McDowells who challenge what Satan convinces the world is truth, and strives to give their lives for the beautiful gift and truth of Christ Jesus our Lord.
That movie I watched just hours ago proved that hope in a life without pain is real. That even convicted murderers can experience REDEMPTION. That the gift of life is there for anyone who says yes to Christ and invites Him in to have a personal relationship.
PLEASE PRAY FOR ME. PRAY THAT THIS PASSION GOD HAS PUT IN MY HEART BURNS UNTIL THE DAY I DIE. PRAY THAT THE LORD USES ME TO IMPRESS HIS WORD ON ROBINSON HIGH SCHOOL AND BEYOND. PRAY THAT I STAY CHRIST CENTERED AND REMEMBER I AM NOTHING AND HE IS EVERYTHING.
The lyrics of the August Burns Red song, "Redemption" are swimming around in my head and have been for about three days straight. Here are the words of a life changed completely by the love of Jesus Christ. These words describe my feelings and my heart and what the last year has been like and what has all gone through my head and I have felt in my heart. I encourage you to go listen to this song or download on iTunes after you read these. (It's a screamo song, but look it as a chance to see the beauty of this music... no matter how hard it is to listen to it at times).
Redemption: By, August Burns Red
I trust in you for life to live, and air to breath.
Purity fills my lungs.
I no longer live in solitude.
No longer bound.
My heart beats with great devotion.
This is the start to a new beginning.
On my knees praying for mercy.
Hands raised high, humble and broken.
Wanting your grace.
Wanting your security.
Memories of laying facedown, motionless, with such a hollow feeling inside.
Soon I would end this life I was living.
I am just a man with a heart and sinful hands.
I am a fallen victim.
Lord, show me the way.
I ask of you Father, let my words be your words.
Let my thoughts be your thoughts.
To you, I give my praise. Show me the way.
Take me in your arms.
Never let me go.
Lord, show me the way, as I give myself to you.
Never let me go.
Hold me with your everlasting love.
Be my strength. Be my voice. Be my glory. Set me free.
I think that last line might just be tattooed on my wrist for forever the day I turn 18. It is my prayer put into the words for every person on this earth to hear and read.
Once and for all eternity. Amen.
So in the last year I have been redone, I have been changed completely (read all my notes for more details), and I have been redeemed. It's been a journey in which I see light and dark, death and life. A story where there is heartache and good times, nightmares and paradise. A path that has a side of the road with a picture of me on my knees with blood on my head and a side with a picture of me with a hammer in my bloody hands.
But tonight is a night to remember for as long as I breathe. I sat down at 1030 tonight and put "The Shawshank Redemption" in the DVD player. For the next 2 hours and 15 minutes I sat in wonder as a masterpiece was played in front of my eyes. A story that showed a journey of an innocent man who was convicted to 2 life sentences in prison. A journey which would lead him to find who he was. Theres a quote in the movie which is playing over and over in my mind...
"I guess it comes down to a simple choice really... to get busy living, or get busy dying."
This is where I was a year ago. I had a choice to embrace what Jesus Christ was showing me, showing me that life was in Him and only Him, or I could fold and get into a life of lust and hatred. A life of satisfying my flesh or fufilling the price for love that Jesus Christ gladly paid.
The word redemption means, "the act of buying back what someone previously sold." What that shows me that when Adam and Eve sinned, there became a gap between us and God. A gap that only the death of Jesus Christ on the cross could fill. A gap which IS IMPOSSIBLE for us to reach God and Heaven without embracing the love and will of Jesus Christ.
So when they sinned, the beautiful gift of life with God was shattered. And only by Jesus Christ dying and his blood being shed over us are we saved. Without that we are going straight to hell. Straight to burn for eternity. Our lives with Christ were sold because of sin and get this...
WHEN CHRIST DIED. HE BOUGHT BACK OUR LIVES... WITH HIS BLOOD!
Jesus Christ gave us the gift of redemption. The gift of Him giving us a chance to erase our past lives NO MATTER WHAT WE HAVE DONE... and living in paradise with Him forever. No matter if you were into porn (as I was), cheating, lying, stealing, KILLING, sex. It DOESN'T MATTER! God sent HIS ONE AND ONLY SON to come and die so we could live.
And I believe with a strong passion that anyone who sees the profound truth of Christ's gift of redemption CANNOT deny Jesus Christ. If that message is delivered with confidence and passion, no can pass it up.
Redemption is a word that I believe could shock a generation.
I believe that Jesus Christ put a passion in my heart to share the gospel and show people the life He promises them. Jesus Christ, The KING of the World, put a firery passion in my heart that this generation would grasp the idea of REDEMPTION and LOVE and change the course of this world forever.
That there would be group of teenager who would defy the odds of every adult who ever lived AND PROVE THAT THE LOVE OF JESUS CHRIST IS BETTER THAN ANYTHINGTHE WORLD HAS TO OFFER.
Any physical satisfaction that Satan can dish can never satisify a person's God-shaped whole in our lives. A person with everything... money, fame, lust... dies alone. Look at all the celeberties that have ended their life because they were so unhappy.
I pray that one of these days a person is seen who is so dedicated and in love with Jesus Christ that He or She will die without a moment hesitation. That my generation is not the sex-crazed, perverted horrible kids that everything things we will be. I pray that our generation is full of Bill Brights, Billy Grahams, and Josh McDowells who challenge what Satan convinces the world is truth, and strives to give their lives for the beautiful gift and truth of Christ Jesus our Lord.
That movie I watched just hours ago proved that hope in a life without pain is real. That even convicted murderers can experience REDEMPTION. That the gift of life is there for anyone who says yes to Christ and invites Him in to have a personal relationship.
PLEASE PRAY FOR ME. PRAY THAT THIS PASSION GOD HAS PUT IN MY HEART BURNS UNTIL THE DAY I DIE. PRAY THAT THE LORD USES ME TO IMPRESS HIS WORD ON ROBINSON HIGH SCHOOL AND BEYOND. PRAY THAT I STAY CHRIST CENTERED AND REMEMBER I AM NOTHING AND HE IS EVERYTHING.
The lyrics of the August Burns Red song, "Redemption" are swimming around in my head and have been for about three days straight. Here are the words of a life changed completely by the love of Jesus Christ. These words describe my feelings and my heart and what the last year has been like and what has all gone through my head and I have felt in my heart. I encourage you to go listen to this song or download on iTunes after you read these. (It's a screamo song, but look it as a chance to see the beauty of this music... no matter how hard it is to listen to it at times).
Redemption: By, August Burns Red
I trust in you for life to live, and air to breath.
Purity fills my lungs.
I no longer live in solitude.
No longer bound.
My heart beats with great devotion.
This is the start to a new beginning.
On my knees praying for mercy.
Hands raised high, humble and broken.
Wanting your grace.
Wanting your security.
Memories of laying facedown, motionless, with such a hollow feeling inside.
Soon I would end this life I was living.
I am just a man with a heart and sinful hands.
I am a fallen victim.
Lord, show me the way.
I ask of you Father, let my words be your words.
Let my thoughts be your thoughts.
To you, I give my praise. Show me the way.
Take me in your arms.
Never let me go.
Lord, show me the way, as I give myself to you.
Never let me go.
Hold me with your everlasting love.
Be my strength. Be my voice. Be my glory. Set me free.
I think that last line might just be tattooed on my wrist for forever the day I turn 18. It is my prayer put into the words for every person on this earth to hear and read.
Once and for all eternity. Amen.
Something greater than one's self
Conviction is just another simple way of saying, "guilty, but I'll get over it sometime." My life is more of a disaster, I am "convicted" of sin and have this spiritual conviction but then go screw up again a week after I was "dubbed invincible". Should my conviction of the thought, "Christ died for me, so I should devote my life to Him," be turned into more of a promise? A promise seems permanent to me, when a conviction can be blown up with bail money or convincing the point you're over what you used to do.
What if my conviction turned more into a promise saying, "Since I'm a disaster I'll lay my life at His feet so I may live. so I can throw myself away and embrace a life worth living. A life life worth dying for." What if I stepped outside the mold of a hypocritical Christian culture and became a Revolutionist? Ratified my life so my very actions would scream to the world, "I'M A JESUS FREAK, THROW AT ME WHAT YOU WILL FOR ONE DAY I WILL SPEND ETERNITY WITH MY KING." What if I grasped the fact that what the Lord offers is better than what the world offers? What if I threw aside my heaviness for a garmet of praise? What if I gave my life for the will of Savior with power to great for the world to contain? What if I saw and tasted and truly felt that the Lord was good?
COULD I CHANGE THE WORLD
Once and for all etenity. Amen.
What if my conviction turned more into a promise saying, "Since I'm a disaster I'll lay my life at His feet so I may live. so I can throw myself away and embrace a life worth living. A life life worth dying for." What if I stepped outside the mold of a hypocritical Christian culture and became a Revolutionist? Ratified my life so my very actions would scream to the world, "I'M A JESUS FREAK, THROW AT ME WHAT YOU WILL FOR ONE DAY I WILL SPEND ETERNITY WITH MY KING." What if I grasped the fact that what the Lord offers is better than what the world offers? What if I threw aside my heaviness for a garmet of praise? What if I gave my life for the will of Savior with power to great for the world to contain? What if I saw and tasted and truly felt that the Lord was good?
COULD I CHANGE THE WORLD
Once and for all etenity. Amen.
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